darknessstillremains

went for blood donation

Today my school have a blood donation drive and i was volunteered to donate blood today.. the crowd over at the function hall was packed with people but it didnt stop people from going there to donate their blood.

Feeling restless and stress over work!

Hmm.. today is the end of my week 3 clinical posting.. i still got 6 more weeks to go. I am hoping that i can pass through clinical posting and also move forward to my final year.. Due to my knee pain that i develop recently, i am getting more and more stress about it..

Doctor's appt was being pushed to march 23rd and my knee have been bad recently due the locking of knee caps and also knee giving way.. hais.. I dont wanna end my studies here but carry on moving forward..

Many of times, i am feeling upset over my knee but no one could understand what i am going through.. I always keeps my feeling all to myself and hide it from everyone.. and this has cause my friends cannt even understand me.. hais.. praying hard that things would have improvement:)

Recently things between me and sebas seems to be like kinda unstable?? i dont know? I am always feeling something missing between us whenever i am with him.. but on another hand, i really felt that i am imprint with him.. i can feel his presence even if he is not with me.. I dont know how to describe this kind of feeling but all i can say is, i am starting to love him even more than before.. this is bad.. real bad!! cos the deeper i love him, at the end of the relationship, both of us would get hurt even more.. OH NO!! hais.. but i do really hope that things would work out between us..

love love<3
aphrodite

Hmm.. i enjoy every moment with you~

Yesterday i went out with sebas and his family out for dinner at the SAKURA@ Tampines Safra, to celebrate samuel's birthday:) it has been a fun time hanging out with his brothers, sylvester, stanley and samuel:) Stanley is a fun kid, who loves to talk alot.. and samuel on that day is kinda shy.. sylvester is kinda like a japanese food fan:) he loves the japanese food alot!!

After the dinner we went to his hse to cut the cake:) hmm.. i was pretty fun and find it hard to swallow down the cake, but it is becos of samuel's birthday cake, i still eat the cake happily and celebrated with him.. he is so cute and chubby:) hahas:) it really has been a great time together that day:)

Today sebas sees me from my hse to church and he left for piano lessons after that:) when he left, i felt kinda weird.. i starting to miss his presence.. hais.. spending time with him, just pass too fast alr.. damn upset:(

very long never post le..

WOAH!! this is the first post of the year!! hahas.. after so long, then can find time to post some updates on the past few weeks:)

hmm.. new year, new pair of glasses and also a new start:) wanna start everything a new:) hee.. and it is also the new start of a new relationship of me and sebastian.. we start on the 1st of jan straight after 12midnight.. hahas:) hee~ very fast right! but it is a brand new start!

Ever since i have start my attachment, i am always so busy and hardly have time to go online.. hais.. hardly go online.. even if i have time, i would be out, spending time with my baby.. hahas:)

I will try to update more often! gtg...


love love,
aphrodite<3

Hasnt been feeling well recently..

Hais.. dont know what exactly happen to me recently as i have been in a pretty bad shape of health recently.. headaches, tummy cramps, vommiting, muscles ache and also dizziness.. dont know what am i suffering from..

What if one day i am gone for good?? I think many of the people around me would be jumping for joy and also cheering:) hahas.. i dont know?

Many of times i would really hope i could slow down my speed and also look at the nice scenery around me.. but i am always rushing into time.. hais.. when will i be able to put down my troubles and worries? i dont know...

i think in this whole life, the most common sentence used is " I dont know". I am like always living in my own lala land~ dont know what is happen around me and also lost in interest with the things that i used to be interested in.. i just felt that i changed alot and i am not the evania that i was once before.. hais.. i just dont know what is wrong with me.. where is the hyperactive evania with a strong fighting spirit? I dont know? I just lost myself to those bad memories..

I am hoping to find myself back soon..


love,
aphrodite<3

Missing the good old times..

Everytime i flip over my photo album.. There have all the good old times that i have with my friends from young till now.. Everyone changes overtime.. and good friends go and come like wind.. hahas:) Only very good and trustworthy friends would stay with you till the end, no matter what happens..

Many things has past, but why am i still clinging on to it? It doesnt even worth my thoughts, but i still think about it despite knowing that it is time to put down.. A year has passed, yet i still cant put down the past.. Am i really that stubborn?? many ppl would say yes.. but to me, no one would ever understand what i have gone through.. I am just suffering in silence..

I maybe a person who needs constant encouragment.. And i think that habit should change, and be more independent.. hais.. have been living behind the mask for so long.. Only those close friends would understand me very well.. When i am feeling happy, when i am feeling sad, when i am feeling abit weird.. without a word, they can tell through my expression.. Even when i am putting on a smile, but i am feeling down, they also know.. Nothing can hide from their eyes..

I am a person who could be easily read by others.. And thats is why many friends are always there for me when i am feeling down.. and i am grateful for having them:) Thank you friends for being there for me when i needed you guys the most..

Relationship to me is not so important.. but if i am really in a relationship, i just hope that my partner would understand me well.. I dont really like to do those things that those couples do.. I have my own phobia.. and becos of this phobia, i have already lost alot interest in relationship.. hais.. when can i gain back my confidence? I dont know.. I am really disappointed in myself..

I just hope that i would know the answer to my problems soon.. hais.. cant stop thinking about it..

with love,
aphrodite

WOoHoO~ holiday ahead!

Hmm.. it has been sometime i last post.. and this sentence have already been very frequently used.. hahas:) Many Many things have happen recently.. It is a disappointment to me..

Exams are finally over! And holidays are ahead of me.. Cant wait to enjoy every bit of my holiday:) But at the same time, many things have happen.. hais:( I dont know what to do.. I dont know where to find the motivation to keep me moving forward.. hais.. walking aimlessly..

I really miss the times when i was with my other friends, and they really kept me very happy and we enjoyed very much when we are together:) but those times have gone long ago.. now everyone is busy.. I really miss them very much..

Things may have changed along the way now, but nvm.. In life there are bound to have many changes, and we must learn to adapt to it.. missing everything that i once had..

I would learn to look forward and keep on moving like what darwin said:)

love love<3
aphrodite<3

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Call me Aphrodite
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19 this year .
Slacking in Ite Simei .
I ♥ me, i, myself .
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